Out in the sun.

British readers of the blog will know that last week, after a very disappointing start to the summer, we had a week of hot, dry sunny weather.  Fortunately for me, I had a stack of paperwork to do for a major client and was able to take it to my holiday home on the Somerset coast.  I am very pleased to say, that for the first time, I now have nicely tanned legs, or at least the start of them.

Previously my white male legs made brief and shocking appearances on holiday in the summer and were then hidden away (quite rightly) for the rest of the year.  Now, after all the laser treatment, they are quite regularly seen, but usually in tights.  This side of November's surgery, tights are quite helpful in keeping 'everything' tucked away and under control. (Oh, what a joy it will be when that is not necessary anymore!)  So what could I do?  Well the solution was relatively simple.  I cut the legs off a few old pairs and they were able to provide the same 'support' but leaving my legs free and able to breathe.  What a treat!

It is rumoured that we may have a little more summer again in September, so my legs will be out to play again then, and next year I am wondering about a week away early in the summer or late spring with reliable sunshine to banish the winter pasty-ness.

I'll keep you posted !

Robin Moira White

Strangers on a train.

Not really a lot happening at the moment.  Hair a little longer. (I can feel it on the back of my neck now.)  Weekly electrolysis sessions a little shorter - coming down towards 100 insertions. (Thank you Margaret, Jannine and Emma.) And round 3 of hair transplants on course for Monday 6 August.

But the REAL story is that the time towards my trip to Thailand and reassignment surgery ticks ever away.  Only 15 weeks now.

And it can't come too soon.  The nice thing about my regular train journey up to London, apart from the great scenery, is spotting a nice 'fit' serviceman getting on or off the train at Salisbury (where the HQ UK Land Forces are based).  The thought of proper, straight, enjoyable sex with a man grows larger and larger in my thoughts (and helps me stick to my diet) and helps me be very, very certain that I am doing the right thing.  Just the other day, there was a LOVELY chap in a 'camo' uniform with a Major's crown on that tab velcro'd to the front of his jacket as is the style these days, who seemed to be heading up to London.  He certainly featured in my dreams for a couple of nights after that.

Just imagine how it has been, for as long as I can remember, to have had to hide my real thoughts, so difficult, so dangerous, so unfulfillable, away as deeply as I could and now to be able to contemplate a time when........well, I'll leave you to fill in my imagination.

Thank goodness for 21st century medicine.

Robin Moira White

Longer and longer!

Transition is not the easiest process in the world but boy! (sorry, I mean girl!) are there benefits.

I dreamed for so long of letting my hair grow and now I have been able to.  It is not down to my shoulders yet but it is certainly on the way - I can tuck it behind my ears now, if I choose.  It makes me so happy!

I had my 6-month check up with Dr May at the Wimpole hair transplant clinic a few days ago.  What a transformation, looking back at my old photos.  There is now just a little thinness at the crown and just behind / below it.  I can't see it without performing gymnastics in front of the mirror but I know its there and want it gone, so I will definitely have another 1000 transplants in a couple of months time to completely eliminate this.

Now I have started to look at hair accessories in the supermarket.  Wonderful!.  I find that I am naturally a little wavy or curly, so just some careful brushing in the morning and I have a style I am quite happy with.  Oh! What a change from a trip to the barber and debating whether to have a number 1 or number 2 cut.  Poor barber - he must have wondered where I disappeared to a couple of years ago.

Only a little over 4 months now until my trip to Thailand for the 'big op'.  I can't wait.  I lie in bed at night and dream of the final result, of being on my favourite beach in Cornwall in summer 2013 in my swimming costume with 'nothing to hide'.  I am so excited!

Do stay with me for the ride.

Robin Moira White

Escaping the dalek and the throttled frog.

Its been a rather strange Queen's Jubilee weekend for me, starting to get used to a new voice.

I had my surgery on Tuesday morning and was discharged from hospital on Wednesday.  By Thursday I could manage speech on a single high frequency - rather like the monotonous daleks that kept us hiding behind the sofa when Dr Who was new.

By Friday I had improved to a 'throttled frog' in time to visit Gary Wood, my speech therapist and work out some exercises to improve my range. 

Things have been improving virtually hourly, as wth hoarseness and swelling subside in roughly equall measure.  It is hard to predict quite where things will settle down but my resting frequency certainly sounds markedly higher to me than it did before.  Of course, you are not usually the best judge of your own voice, as you don't hear yourself as others hear you, so I am looking forward to hearing the reactions of others in the next few days and weeks.

Robin Moira White

Cricothyroid Approximation

The 'cricothyroid approximation' - it sounds rather like a Robert Ludlam novel but in fact it was a trip to the Wellington Hospital in London, yesterday for an operation by Professor Cheesman to 'up' the pitch of my voice. 

I am generally quite happy about appearance now.  Body shape is good, hair long and lengthening, balding area now pretty much covered by regrowth but then I go and open my mouth and ruin it all.  My voice pitch is low - 'R nought' (as the speech therapists say - of only 87 Hz.  Low even for the male range.  I have put my time in on speech therapy but the therapist and I decided that some surgical help was indicated and so yesterday morning Prof Cheesman sliced across the front of my throat, pulled had on my vocal cords' mounting and stitched me up again.  I am sure he will hate that explanation, but it did for BBC Radio Somerset on Monday morning when I dropped in on the Emma Britain show to keep them updated  (lovely lady).

I am a bit hoarse, and do look rather like I have tried to cut my head off with a hunting sabre, but no doubt it will all settle down soon.  I'll let you know what the results are.

You may be able to watch them for yourselves because the BBC west country current afairs programme 'Inside Out' having been investing some time filming me for broadcast shortly, so fingers crossed for a good result.

The next step is a visit to the speech therapist in London on Friday.

I'll keep you posted!

Robin

Bits and Pieces

I always said that I wouldn't post unless I had something to say, but it probably is time for an update in a number of areas, and a few followers have asked so.....

I passed a useful facila electrolysis milestone yesterday - the first weekly session where the number of insertions was below 200, just at 198.  Yes, I lie there counting them!  This also means that I am down to half an hour and my skin recovers really well - within the hour, mostly.

Tomorrow is another laser session for lower legs, buttocks and small of my back, and that is going really well also.

On Thursday 24 I am speaking on transgender and workplace issues at the national Employment Lawyers Association conference in London - a rather larger audience than I have had before, but a good opportunity.

Perhaps the biggest bit of news is that my voice operation (cricothyroid approximation) at the Wellington Hospital in London has been brought forward to 29 May.  I am really looking forward to that as voice is the big unsolved area for me at the moment.  This balances my worries about doing anything to affect my voice which is, of course, a big part of my working life.

Oh, and I picked up three pairs of white loafers from the good folks at 'Theatrical Shoemakers' in Docklands, so I have a decent range of casual shoes in my rather larger sizes for the coming (hopefully) summer.

And lastly I am now on a pretty strict diet and exercise regime as I want to be down to 12 stones and fit before I head off to Thailand in November to give myself the best chance of a smooth ride through the surgery.  Nothing especially arduous but I am pleased to find that I still only have to tweak the regime a little and the weight strats to come off.

That's all for now!

Robin

Simple pleasures

This has, in personal terms been a tough couple of years and the coming 12 months have some bumps in the road, I would expect but I am often struck by how it is the simple things which give me comfort.

On Monday I had to travel up to London and as I the train came in a gentleman and I were waiting on the platform approximately level with the same door when the train stopped.  He opened the doors with the button and they - gallantly - gestured for me to get on the train first.  So nice.

And then yesterday, as it was likely to be the only really fine day this week I took a trip up to Wells in Somerset, that delightful medaevial city.  When the sun shone it was really quite warm and it was so pleasant, in a sleeveless dress, to feel the sun on my arms and legs.  My traditional male summer wear was short-sleeved shirts which has left me with a noticeable tan to my forearms and lower half of my upper arms, and contrasting whiteness above.  That was quite visible last year.  It was pleasant to note that things have evened out a lot, and a few more fine days and some very gentle tanning should see that sorted.

Last night the weather turned markedly worse - high winds and driving rain.  At about 4 in the morning I was laying awake listening to the rain being driven against my window and thinking how comfortable I was, snuggled under a thick duvet in my bed.

Later this morning I will get to watch the west country scenery from the dry safeness of my train as I travel up for a conference with clients in Chambers in London.  Always and interesting journey, especially with a coffee and a Kit-Kat from the trolley steward.

So many simple pleasures....

Robin White