This time next week I will be sitting at Heathrow about to catch the 'plane to Thailand for my re-assignment surgery.
How do I feel?
Well, its a bit strange really. I think I ought to be scared or concerned but I'm not. It makes me think about practical things like the ease of wearing nicer lingerie or tight jeans in future, or the ability to go to the swimming pool in future without causing consternation in the changing room. Or of not being forceably reminded of who I am not when I get ready for bed or take a shower. And then, of course, there is, or may be, sex....
But I can't say that I am particularly worried about the process. I am fit and healthy and (just) the right side of 50, and Sanguan Kunaporn, the Thai surgeon, comes with the highest possibnle reccomendation. I have taken advice about what to wear, what to take and how to prepare, in particular from two very sensible folks who have been along the road ahead of me..
And I am READY for this. I worked out that I was trans aged 12 or 13, I think. I dipped my toe in the water in my leat teens / earlt 20's and was not ready for this enormous step then. But I have tried the alternatives and they either do not work for me, or I can't live with them.
There is no magic wand. My transition will not be as complete or as effective as if I had done it when I was 16 or 26. But it offers me the best chance of a liveable life for the next 20 or 30 or who knows years. And that is worth having.
Follow my next steps.
I'll keep you posted
Robin Moira White