Even my drugs have gender dysphoria !

I am on estradot patches (oestrogen) to feminise my hormone balance and finasteride ('propecia') to reverse the small amount of male pattern balding I have.  The esradot is very firmly marked 'for women only' and the finasteride is equally firmly marked 'for men only' !  I think this neatly illustrates the dysphoria with which I have to cope and the limbo in which I find myself at the moment.  What am I?  Man?  Woman? or something inbetween?

A good week this week.  Had my blood pressure checked by my GP after a month on oestrogen and I was just a little low (which is good) and is normal for me.  No dramatic changes although my nipples are definitely more erect and sensitive than before I started.  Electolysis continues to go well (she said through gritted teeth).

Travelling for work next week and so will get to see two more folks who don't yet know what 2011 holds for me.  Getting quite relaxed about telling my tale now - recations have been SO positive.

Bye for now

lol

Moira

Passing the teenager test

If I work at home it can often be a bit lonely as I might not see anyone except the postman, so I tend to break up the day by heading into Sherborne to collect my newspaper and enjoy a coffee and a cake at one of the several pleasant cafes in the town.  I favour one which is also a delicatessen.  I have been doing this for some years and the staff have seen the transition in progress, so have no doubt who (or what) I am. The lady owner discussed it with me a little while ago and expressed the flattering view that, apart from voice, I was doing rather well.  Perhaps she wasn’t just being kind, as we shall see.

A few days ago I was in the cafe mid-afternoon and into the table next to me piled a group of 6 teenage boys from the famous public school in the town.  With that teenager’s ability to eat and eat, they had come in for an ‘extra tea’ between lunch and school tea.  Economic concerns have not bitten everywhere as they paid with a £50 note.  At least one had an accent that was not so much ‘cut glass’ as ‘lacerate diamond’.

They chatted away about school sports, the impossibility of the physics homework (‘prep’) they had been set and what they had been up to over the Christmas holiday.  I sat demurely working on the Sudoku in 'The Times' newspaper.  I should say that I was wearing a black knee-length skirt, a pink knitted top from M&S showing a hint of cleavage, and mid-height black heels.  (I am finding that I really like pink these days – must be the oestrogen.) They paid me no apparent attention whatsoever.

Just after they left the lady proprietor came over and asked if I had heard what they had said on the way out.  I hadn’t.  It appeared that one had a broken watch and there was some debate about the right time.  One had said to another that they should have settled it by asking the lady they had been sitting next to ‘as she was wearing a Rolex’.  That was me!  The lady proprietor wanted me to know how well I was now fitting in – so sweet of her.

Teenagers are often very sensitive to gender, given that they are busy exploring it an their sexuality themselves.  They also are less inhibited about commenting on an apparently odd-looking man or woman but I seemed to have passed the test.

My facial features are still rather heavy and masculine, at least in my eyes, hence the facial surgery I have booked for the summer, but it is true what they say, ‘passing’ unremarked in public is at least as much about attitude as looks. Not that I say ‘unremarked’ not ‘unnoticed’.  I am 6’ tall and favour 3 or 4’ heels, so I always going to stand out and I will be looking for some male companionship when this process is over (definitely another post in those thoughts, readers!) so I do want to be noticed, for the right reasons.......

Lol

Moira

P.S.
I can see that a few folks are following my blog now.  It would be lovely to be left a comment or two to tell me what you think.  Also, if you click on the featured adverts it even makes me a penny or two.  All that electrolysis to pay for........

Is that really you?

Well, it had to happen.  This week I have had two comments from acquaintances who I had not met for a while that my hair was rather long.  I haven't visited the barber since September and I used to debate with him whether I should have a 'Number 1' or a 'Number 2' so this is rather a change for me.  My hair is now 2-3 inches long and I was beginning to look a bit like Ken Dodd, not a good professional look.

Cue a female reaction.  I phoned my hairdresser in a bit of a panic and talked her into seeing me at the end of her Saturday session.  Some tidying up eliminated the 'Diddyman' look and initiated me into the ways of hair straighteners.  Lou runs her own salon in Mere, Wiltshire and I was recommended to her by my beautician.  She has helped at least one previous TS with the hair aspects of her transition.  I might be in my mid-forties but I intend to make the best of all my 'assets'!

My tidier look should keep comments at bay for a while but at half an inch a month, my hair should be 6 inches long by June.  A complete departure for me.  Last week I was able to mutter something about the weather having been cold recently.  Unless global warming is rather worse than even the pessimists have led us to believe (or the makers of the film 'The Day After Tomorrow' knew more than they were saying) that excuse won't wash in May.  By then I suspect the pierced ears will be giving it away......

Moira

Laying the foundation......

I am just back from a great weekend away with friends in Cornwall.

My electrolysis therapist was away so instead of my usual hour’s torture on Saturday morning I had a lovely relaxing facial, manicure and pedicure – wonderful.

My electrolysis has progressed to the point where I no longer need thick foundation to cover the remaining hairs.  Equally, my head hair has grown so that it is just passably female, so no need to wear a wig – double hoorays!!

It was wonderful to spend the weekend as a reasonably convincing female, including a shopping trip in Truro.  It is hard not to be conspicuous when you are six feet three in heels but I did find a lovely pinl jacket in M&S.

I think that I am now going to get off the electrolysis treadmill for one weekend a month.  I just love becoming Moira – its what I was born for!

Moira

A pain in the neck - facial electrolysis

I should apologise for this blog being dominated by hair at the moment, but that’s just the way it is.

A couple of days ago I had THE most painful session of electrolysis to date.  Through the Arctic winter weather my technician and I had not been able to get together and we needed a couple of sessions to catch up.  The painful session dealt with hair under the chin and down the neck a little way.  Here the skin is thin and sensitive.  Just to recap – electrolysis involves a fine needle being slid up the hair to the follicle and then an electric current being passed to zap the hair.  It feels like a wasp sting.  I have to grit my teeth and try desperately not to flinch as this process is repeated hair by hair.  I am dark-haired and have pale skin, so this is a very necessary process if I am not to present an impression of the fairground bearded lady from next August.  Boy! (do I mean ‘Girl!’ ?) it is painful.

To be allowed to follow the transition path there are a set of care standards known as the ‘Harry Benjamin’ care standards after the US psychologist who led their formulation.  They specify a certain amount of counselling and the like before intervention with hormones or other toys.  I wonder if a short course of electrolysis would sort the (wo)men from the boys.

On another front I had the stitches out from my hair transplant donor site yesterday.  It had healed really well and the only irritation was from around the stitches where the flesh was trying to heal.  I am lucky in that I naturally have a slightly raised temperature and a higher than normal metabolic rate, which means that I heal well.  That should be useful for later in the year......

Lol

Moira