Monday, 7 February 2011

When your coach turns into a pumpkin........

I had a great weekend.   My regular electrolysis therapist was away and the only day I could find a replacement was on Friday when, fortunately, I was working at home.  This had the great advantage that by Saturday morning my face and neck skin was smooth, hair-free and calm.  This meant that I was able to spend the whole weekend as the female version of myself.  Only a little light foundation now covers the redness from the electrolysis.
SO WONDERFUL to be ME for the whole weekend, and an increasingly convincing version of me with light make up and my own hair, which is starting to cover my ears.  Saturday evening had me curled up on the sofa in front of the TV in black tights and skirt, and candy pink cardigan, filing and polishing my nails.  Sunday morning found me at the supermarket, a pretty convincing version of an unremarkable middle-aged lady doing some gentle food shopping.  At least, a 6’ tall version of such.  I didn’t detect a second glance, other than a chap in Cafe Nero who did seem to be looking at my legs. (My best feature, I think.)  And this is without the cosmetic surgery in July which I hope will make me a less mannish and more attractive middle-aged woman.
And then the witching hour struck on Sunday evening.  I had to catch an early train on Monday morning and I find that in middle age I need my beauty sleep so by 10pm I was in bed.  Oh, how hard it is to take off my nail varnish, mascara etc etc and climb back into pyjamas.  I suppose this is a version of how  it will be from August when I will be living as a woman every day.  However, the image is rather ruined in bed or in the shower by.....well, you know.  I face 18 months of that until that glorious time, probably around Christmas 2012, when  reassignment surgery will allow me to feel feminine in bed and in the bathroom as well as during the day – Oh!
All the counselling in the world does not tell you anything.  It was how I felt on Sunday evening stepping back over the boundary from female to male that means I KNOW reassignment is right for me.

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